Lording It Over Commoners In A 'coo-pey'
The Age
Thursday December 7, 2000
Climb into Tony Cook's two-door Buick Skylark and the first thing you notice is the large centre console, which has lots of gauges, and what looks like, good Lord, an old black handset telephone.
Reg Ansett's '48 Buick Eight had a similar set-up, and all the gear to make it go just about filled the boot. That was a real telephone, an early car phone; Cook's outfit is almost as unique - an early model CB with a black handset that you use just like a telephone.
While the console is a home-built sort of bushman's version, complete with woodgrain finish to match the dash, it does the job and in a curious sort of way matches Cook's brand of eccentricity.
"I like instrumentation," says this British-born former law clerk, former service station owner. He put in the console after he nearly cooked the Buick's 350-cubic inch V8. As he says, the car's warning lights come on too late. Now it's got temperature and oil gauges, among others, so he can keep a personal check.
When you meet Cook, 65 - or, as he says, "going on 25" - you get the impression that he's not your average, conservative British expatriate. There's that pigtail for a start, his long, greying hair tied back with a bright blue ribbon. And the distinctive Van Dyck beard.
"I've always hated going to barbers. They're on a par with dentists. But then, being English, I'm supposed to be eccentric," he grins.
There's another side to Cook, one he's reluctant to talk about at first. "I don't publicise it much."
Let's introduce Lord Groby.
Cook, who has lived in Australia for 30 years, inherited the British title six years ago. "I got the shock of my life. I had this letter to inform me that Peter (his uncle's brother who held the title) had died. I had inherited the title of Lord Groby, Earl of Stamford."
At the risk of misquoting him, he exclaimed, more or less, "Good Lord, I'm a Lord. Is this a joke?" But it wasn't a joke. Not only that, two baronies came with it.
So picture this: Lord Groby, Earl of Stamford, Baron of Bonnville and Harrington, Baron of Ferrars, and his wife Frances, fondly known as "Frankie", but more formally, Lady Groby, living in western suburban St Albans and driving an old, American-built, emerald green Buick Skylark Coupe. That's about as eccentric as you can get.
The Buick, one has to say, has seen better days. Nonetheless, Cook, is proud of it and insists on taking me for a spin.
The jolly old thing won't start at first. "Oh dear, I know what that is," says Cook, showing an intimate knowledge of the car he's had for 22 years. He jumps out, lifts the bonnet, and within seconds the big V8 rumbles into life.
We sort of float down the road at a gentlemanly speed, looking out over a lunar landing-size bonnet. Which reminds Cook of a remark by one of his British visitors: "The front of this car will get home half an hour before we do."
It's a bit like that. But Cook likes cars that are different. He bought the coupe - and we must pronounce it "coo-pey" (I made the mistake of calling it a "coop", to be gently told that's what you keep chickens in) - in 1978.
Cook grew up in Birmingham and bought an old Chevy when he first came to Australia in 1973. He thought a big car would cope better "because of the distances here".
But it was on its last legs. When he spotted the Buick Skylark "coo-pey" at Coachcraft Motors in Richmond, it was, by the sounds of things, love at first sight.
"The lines. The lines. It was a lovely sleek car. I'd certainly never seen one before." From what he's been told, there's only about five or six of this model in Australia.
It had done only 32,500 miles (52,000km) when he bought it. Now it shows 107,506 miles (173,000km). It's been on gas for six or seven years and all it's had done to it is a valve grind.
"It's been an extra-reliable vehicle, this," Cook says, and one of the reasons he's kept it so long. "I just like the car. I don't like modern cars because they're made of tissue paper."
The Buick is not his only love (apart from Frankie, er, Lady Groby). He's also got three Czech-built Skodas, those funny little upside-down pots on wheels. He's got a soft spot for Skodas and reckons the Buick is "positively agricultural" in comparison to the Skoda's "engineering sophistication".
Still, he loves the Buick's brute force. "It's a great car. I love it because it's got great heaps of power." He's had it up to more than 100mph (160kmh).
"At 85mph (136kmh) she's only doing 3200 revs. That's a very lazy engine. Not that I get to do that these days because of the blanket speed limits, because I love speed." (In his young days, he used to race formula junior in England - cars under 1000cc - and did some rallying in a Morris Minor 1000.)
But, getting back to that title, Cook knows that it doesn't cut ice in the circles in which he moves and tells how, at a Beechworth rally, a mate entered him and Frankie as Lord and Lady Groby. The wizened petrolhead at the check-in booth took one look at the entry card and scowled: "Is this bloke taking the p...?"
Crackles Cook in a light-hearted sort of way: "I was quite offended."
In fact, until the Blair Government stepped in last year, he was entitled to sit in the House of Lords, although he never did. As he says, "You need money to sit in the House of Lords."
The title is important to him from an ancestral standpoint. "It means I can trace my family back to 1192." In fact, he says, Lady Jane Grey, the first protestant Queen of England (she reigned for eight days) was "an ancestral cousin".
Good Lord!
Autobiography
Buick built the first coupe, originally dubbed the "hardtop convertible", with the Roadmaster Riviera in 1949.
The general manager at the time, Edward T. Ragsdale (not ragtop) contributed some of the inspiration.
The story goes that Ragsdale's wife always ordered convertibles, but never put the top down because she didn't want to mess up her hair.
The basic styling innovation was to eliminate the centre pillar, and the pillarless hardtop or "hardtop convertible" was born.
The 1972 Skylark Coupe is popular among collectors in the US and Australia. The performance GTS version is even more sought after.
© 2000 The Age
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